Getting Practical 1 - Leaving

Part 6 - Laying Foundations - The Picture of Marriage series
By: John Herbert | Dec 30, 2007
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Eph 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
As we leave this old year behind and move on into the new we are going to return for a few weeks to the picture of marriage in scripture and explore the very foundation which scripture lays for the building of the marriage relationship - leaving and cleaving. This will be helpful for us to understand for just as a failure to leave makes it difficult to cleave in the natural exactly the same would be true for us in the spiritual. Today we will establish the foundation.

Message Notes

1). Sometimes I seem a little hard of hearing ? we have just finished our studies on the Biblical Picture of Marriage in which we saw the reason why marriage is in scripture as it presents to us the picture of Christ and His Bride.

a). We have just begun some sessions on pre-marriage counseling with two of our young couples who are getting married next summer.

b). And here we are about to leave the old year behind and move into a new year.

c). So I am seeking the Lord as to what to do this week.

d). I spend days searching and every avenue I go down ends with a brick wall.

e). And then it was just there ? ?Every message that you give is pre-marriage counseling?.

f). And as I started to look at what we have been covering with our young couples the doors began to open and every avenue walked down did not end with a brick wall but with another open door ? and so here we are to talk about leaving.

g). So I want to begin by looking at some foundation with respect to the whole concept of leaving, as this concept is at the very heart of the marriage relationship God establishes in the opening chapters of Genesis.



2). Eph 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

a). Our foundational scripture here from Ephesians begins in verse 31 with a direct quotation from Genesis 2:24 and then verse 32 relates the previous verse directly to Christ and the church.

b). So let?s look at this a little more closely

c). ?For this reason?? ? for what reason? What reason is it that a man is to leave his father and mother and what does this have to do with Christ and the church?

d). Well if we just go back to Genesis it all becomes very obvious.

e). Ge 2:18 ? And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

f). Ge 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

g). Ge 2:23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."

h). The Man and the Woman were created to rule, to have dominion over the newly restored earth.

i). The Man could not do this apart from the Woman, nor the Woman apart from the Man by God?s sovereign design ? therefore it is for the reason of rulership, for the reason that the Man and the Woman would be inextricably linked together for the purpose of rulership, that they were to leave father and mother, be joined together and become one flesh. And all of this is to be fulfilled in Christ and His Bride when they replace Satan and his fallen angels as the rulers over the earth, and will themselves be inextricably linked together for that very purpose ?

Eph 5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

j). And of course we know from scripture that - Ro 5:14?.Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.

k). So can we see a parallel with God?s statement with respect to Adam leaving Father and mother and with Christ leaving father and Mother? Yes, we can. And if we can what does it teach us?

l). Let?s start by looking at Adam with regards to leaving father and mother.



3). Adam, as a created being is by the act of creation a son of God ? we see this clearly stated in the genealogy in - Lu 3:38 the son of Enos, the son of Seth, the son of Adam, the son of God.

a). And so in this sense God is Adam?s Father and as we know God, his Father, had given Adam, his son, a specific instruction ? Ge 2:16 ? And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 "but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die."

b). In eating from the tree Adam leaves, or separates himself from his Father, God, through sin ? He dies spiritually that day and death has to do with separation not ceasing to exist.

c). It is fairly easy for us to see his leaving his Father as a result of sin, but to see leaving his mother may be a little more difficult ? remember - Ge 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground,

d). The earth of course at this point has been newly restored and in this restored condition is described by God as ?Good?. It is in a perfect state, there being no sin at this point to corrupt it.

e). Adam, being made from the material of the restored earth, must of necessity have been in the earth, so to speak, and is then brought forth out of the earth, just a s a baby would be brought forth from its mother.

f). And it is in this sense that we could see the material creation as Adam?s mother. From the material creation comes the substance of his being and from God comes the breath of life, just as in the natural a baby is formed from the egg of his mother which is given life by his father.

g). And in the same way as Adam leaves his Father because of sin, so he would leave his mother ? Adam is corrupted by sin and as a result of that sin he is separated from the pristine, sinless material creation from which he was made.

h). It is only some time after his sin when God passes judgment that the earth comes under a curse ? until that point we have a sinless material creation and a sin corrupted man and they must remain at odds with one another.

i). Also note that Adam?s leaving from God and leaving from the creation over which he was supposed to have dominion was a deliberate choice on his part. His choice to cleave to his wife was made in his unfallen state with full knowledge of the consequences of his actions. In other words he chose to separate himself from God, his Father and the realm of his dominion.

j). And of course the reason for his choosing this separation, this leaving of Father and mother is so that he should be joined to his wife in the hope of redemption through the Seed of the Woman. Because neither could rule apart from the other and neither could be redeemed apart from the other.



4). Now we can see Christ leaving Father and mother on several levels and in these levels we can see consistency with the experience of Adam.

a). On the basic level, Christ leaves His Father in a geographical sense by coming from the third heaven, setting aside the glory, and being born in the body of a man.

b). And the purpose of this leaving, the reason that He is begotten, is for the accomplishment of redemption which will result in regality and rulership in the 7th Day - Heb 1:5?.."You are My Son, Today [for this day] I have begotten You"

c). Then on the cross, on a different level, He leaves His Father through the separation that takes place as He becomes sin for us - 2Co 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

d). Mt 27:46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

e). And of course Christ leaves His earthly mother, Mary, quite literally, through His death, resurrection and ascension, but He also leaves her on an emotional level - Mt 12:47 Then one said to Him, "Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You." 48 But He answered and said to the one who told Him, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" 49 And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 "For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother."

f). Then on another level Israel is also Christ?s mother as Israel is the barren woman who brings forth the Son of promise in the antitype of Sarah in Genesis 21.

g). Now Christ leaving His mother Israel can be clearly seen in the setting aside of Israel as a result of Israel?s rejection of the offer of the Kingdom of the Heavens and the rejection of their King. And this again we see in the antitype of the death of Sarah in Genesis 23.

h). Just as with Adam, the purpose of Christ leaving Father and mother is so that He can be joined to His wife so that the two should become one flesh, resulting in the antitype of Adam and the Woman ? Christ and His Bride having dominion together just as God had purposed from Eternity past ?

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

i). Only through becoming sin for us, which was a conscious choice made by an all knowing God, and thereby separating Himself from His Father, could He bring about the redemption necessary to restore Mankind to the position for which he had been created.

j). And only through the setting aside of His mother, Israel, would it be possible for a Gentile Bride to be grafted in to the family of Abraham. A Bride that will ultimately become His wife.



5). As we look at both Adam and Christ the type, antitype structure of their experiences with leaving Father and mother so as to be joined to their wife should be clear to us ? the leaving and the cleaving that we see here are inseparable from God?s stated purpose of regality and rulership. What was stated at the beginning was true then and remains true even now - Ge 2:18a ? And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone;



6). And as we have seen before, leaving of father and mother is a repeated theme throughout scripture and is inseparably linked with the receiving of an inheritance, a marriage relationship and dominion.

a). And although we have seen these before, let?s spend some time making sure that these foundations are properly in place as they are all facets of the same picture. And as we build this picture together what it teaches about our own experience of leaving will become so much clearer.



7). Ge 12:1 ? Now the LORD had said to Abram: "Get out of your country, From your family And from your father's house, To a land that I will show you. 2 I will make you a great nation; I will bless you And make your name great; And you shall be a blessing.

a). We begin here with Abram as the scripture here is so very clear for us.

b). Abram is commanded to leave ? to leave his country and his father?s house.

c). As he does so God will show him a land that God is going to give to him as an inheritance.

d). As a result of Abram doing this God promises that He will make Abram a great nation, that he will make his name great and that he will be a blessing.

e). And as we know, God?s progressive call on Abraham and Abraham?s journey from faith to faith result in promised blessings in both the earthly and heavenly realms of God?s Kingdom in respect of an inheritance and rulership ?

Ge 22:17 "blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies.

Ro 4:13 For the promise that he would be the heir of the world was not to Abraham or to his seed through the law, but through the righteousness of faith.

f). Now we should perhaps note that Abraham leaving his country and his father?s house was a literal experience for him ? he physically got up and moved. But it is not the literalness of Abraham?s response to God?s command that we should focus on, but rather the spiritual truth that his literal response teaches.

g). If we will rather see Abraham?s journey symbolizing the leaving behind of everything associated with his natural birth in a fallen world and allowing God alone to lead him and direct him to the fulfillment of the purpose God has for him we will much more readily understand the implications for ourselves.

h). And we should also note that the command to Abram to ?Get out?? is a command that is given only after Abram has entered into a relationship with God, after he had experienced what we would call eternal salvation. And we can clearly see this as scripture tells us that Abraham acted in faith ? something that can only be done by someone who is spiritually alive - Heb 11:8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.

i). This being the case we will also realize that Abraham?s eternal security was not based on his response to God?s command and that if he had chosen to stay in Ur of the Chaldeas, which he could have done, nothing could have changed that, but he would not have received the blessings or the inheritance.

j). And so with the facet of the picture God gives us with Abraham we see that his leaving has to do with an inheritance and blessing in fulfillment of God?s purpose for him with regards to both the heavens and the earth.



8). Ge 24:57 So they said, "We will call the young woman and ask her personally."

58 Then they called Rebekah and said to her, "Will you go with this man?" And she said, "I will go."

a). We will remember the account of Rebekah from our study on the bride taken from the family.

b). With Abraham we saw a command to leave, teaching us that only in obedience to the commands of God can an inheritance be realized.

c). Now here with Rebekah we see the importance of personal choice.

d). There has to be an absolute willingness on the part of the one who is to leave to do just that, despite the pressure there may be to stay and the comfort there is in the familiar.

e). Rebekah is choosing to leave the life and security of her present situation to go to a land she has never seen, to marry a man she has never seen, to share in an inheritance that she cannot fully comprehend ? putting her complete trust in what she has been told by Abraham?s oldest servant. This requires her to act in faith.

f). So with Rebekah we see her leaving her father and mother and the land of her birth connected with a marriage relationship with the son of promise and ultimately an inheritance.



9). Ru 2:11 And Boaz answered and said to her, "It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before. 12 "The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge."

a). Then here with Ruth we find the commendation given to her by Boaz because of her choice to leave her father and mother and the land of her birth. A commendation that will result in a full reward from the God of Israel.

b). And in Ruth?s leaving we see her willingness to continue on with her journey even when Orpah decides to turn back.

c). And we see her faithful obedience to all that Naomi, her mother-in-law, tells her to do with respect to her meeting with Boaz on his threshing floor with marriage to the kinsman redeemer in view.

d). We will remember the details of the account of Ruth from our study of that Book and from our study on the bride taken from the Gentiles.

e). Suffice it to say that once again we see leaving behind a life associated with the land of her birth in order to realize a far greater blessing in the land to which she is called ? a land which she has never seen amongst a people she does not know, in the hope of marrying a man she has never met ? a blessing that comes in the fulfillment of God?s purpose for her.

f). And here in Ruth we see the ultimate result of her leaving father and mother being a redeemed inheritance, a marriage relationship leading to regality through David the king.



10). With the nation of Israel coming out of Egypt we have yet another facet of the leaving picture - Ex 3:8 "So I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Amorites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites.

a). The children of Israel had been in Egypt some 400 years and so for the generation to whom Moses was sent, Egypt was the land of their birth.

b). Egypt was a place of bondage under the hands of cruel task masters.

c). Within the land of their birth they were slaves to an Assyrian Pharaoh. Life as a slave was the only life they knew.

d). God?s intervention on their behalf would set them free from the chains of bondage ? but once free they would then have to choose to be faithfully obedient to God to realize the purpose for them leaving Egypt - Ex 19:4 'You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to Myself. 5 'Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine. 6 'And you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.

e). What we can see here then is that leaving is not based solely on redemption, but rather that redemption makes leaving possible.

f). Leaving cannot be separated from the goal for leaving, which in Israel?s case here would be receiving their inheritance in the land promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and regality within a theocracy.

g). And the goal of their leaving could not be attained apart from faithful obedience.

h). Only through faithful obedience to the word of God then can leaving actually take place.



11). We can gain yet another perspective on this through the experience of David in respect of Saul.

a). Saul of course was the King of Israel who had been rejected by God and David the one who had been anointed to take Saul?s place - 1Sa 15:23?Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king."

b). The kingdom of the rejected Saul is a picture for us of the present kingdom of the rejected ruler Satan. And David?s escape and subsequent separation from Saul?s kingdom would give us the same idea as Israel being redeemed from the bondage of Egypt ? it is a picture of becoming separate, or leaving that associated with the present world system and its ruler.

c). 1Sa 22:1 ? David therefore departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. And when his brothers and all his father's house heard it, they went down there to him. 2 And everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented gathered to him. So he became captain over them. And there were about four hundred men with him. 3 Then David went from there to Mizpah of Moab; and he said to the king of Moab, "Please let my father and mother come here with you, till I know what God will do for me."

4 So he brought them before the king of Moab, and they dwelt with him all the time that David was in the stronghold.

d). And isn?t it interesting to note that as David leaves the kingdom of Saul and separates himself from Saul, so he also separates himself from his mother and his father by leaving them with the king of Moab.

e). And once again of course the reason for David?s leaving is the fulfillment of God?s purpose for him which is to be rulership - 1Sa 16:13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward. So Samuel arose and went to Ramah.

f). And in David God gives us a picture of Christ awaiting the time when He will take the Kingdom from Satan and in those who followed David a picture of ourselves as we leave behind the influence of the god of this world to align ourselves with Christ, also looking to that day when He will take the throne from the enemy of our soul and we will exercise rulership with Him.



12). I think we might begin to see then that the literal action to be taken by a young man and a young woman of leaving father and mother and being joined to their spouse should provide us with an ever present object lesson to keep before us with regards to our relationship with this world and our relationship with Christ.

a). Failure to recognize and put into practice the literal action will inevitably result in problems within the marriage relationship.

b). And of course failure to implement the spiritual truth that this action teaches will also cause major problems in a marriage relationship ? that between us and Christ with regards to being part of His bride.



13). And so next week, if the Lord permits we will look at exactly what leaving looks like for us as we seek to be part of the Bride of Christ.
Other messages from this series Audio Video PDF Study Notes
Part 1 - The Bride Taken From The Body
Part 2 - The Bride Taken From the Family
Part 3 - The Bride Taken From the Gentiles
Part 4 - The Fulfillment of God?s Plan
Part 5 - Conclusion - Will You Go?
Part 6 - Getting Practical 1 - Leaving
Part 7 - Getting Practical 2 - Leaving 2
Part 8 - Getting Practical 3 - Cleaving
Part 9 - Getting Practical 4 - 'Become One Flesh'